All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without the benefit of experience."

— Henry Miller, Author

Sunday, October 18, 2009

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing." – Rabbi Hillel

On what a horrible week! Granted it's only Sunday and my "week" ends tomorrow. There's still time to make it a little more decent, which I may be able to pull off, but right now I feel like my body is telling me no no no. Last Tuesday was great! It tricked me into thinking the whole week would be the same, Wednesday was not so hot, but okay. Thursday was horrible! I went to yoga and ran some errands, all the while incredibly tired. You would think I didn't sleep the night before.

I decided to take a nap before the gym and when I woke 2.5 hours later (yikes) I only felt a little worse. Meanwhile my nutrition was so off that I just wanted to eat a loaf of raw cookie dough. I know that my nutrition this week is the reason why I had such a shitty week, and it is of course my number one goal for the week coming up. I just started with some dietary changes which have proven a tad bit difficult. I have to say that I hadn't formulated my plan of attack for eating even more frequently than I already had been, which is clearly a necessity.

Here's a gross example of what steadfast determination I must have to keep it in line:

So yesterday while at work (for those that don't know, I work at a nursing home) I had found the perfect moment to run down into the basement to heat up my oatmeal and other tasty treats. I get back upstairs and take a bite when a patient was SCREAMING for me to come into the bathroom to help her (she's very anxious and has other mental health issues to say the least). I helped her get washed up making sure to pick up the gooey turd piles she left on the floor. She goes back to her room, and I go back to the Nurses station to try and scarf down as much of my food as fast as possible.

5 minutes later, I'm trying to finish my broccoli when I see the same woman headed for the bathroom. Once she gets settled the starts yelling "Lady lady I couldn't make it, I had a bowel movement in my pants." I get around the corner and there was shit everywhere. All over the toilet, her pants, the floor, the wall it was horrible. I cleaned it all up while this woman was freaking out, washed my hands, and took another mouthful of broccoli. I looked at it lovingly before I shoved it in my mouth as I remembered how some of the chunks in that woman's soupy stool very well looked like broccoli.

If I can eat and maintain my "cookies" so to speak through being knee deep in someone else's storm of kaka than I should be able to stick to my damn nutrition plan otherwise, right?

It was hard tough! At times I would stroll right past meal times because I wasn't hungry and I simply didn't think about the fact that it was time to eat. Other times I would be busy and time would fly and before I know it, that meal has been completely skipped. Then there's the matter of me being asleep before making my final meal of the day. Plus I'm eating a little more at each meal now so I can't exactly "om nom nom" in a Garfield fashion as I'm used to doing. I have to stop and chew more now.

Anyhow the point is that this week I'll definitely have to make a very concentrated effort to make sure I stick to my meals. I need to go and re-set the alarms on my watch and phone to go off at my new meal times and I'm just gonna have to make sticking that schedule my priority this week. I can't take take another horror show like last week. :(

Wish me luck.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


This post is actually for one Michael "kick rocks" Anderson. He scoffed the last time I bitched about how much time I spent in the kitchen prepping my food for the week. Today I decided to document this massive task as Michael, an eternal pessimist and pathological liar, doubts nearly everything that everyone says as his means of deflection. So Mike, with a loving snarl please kick rocks. I'll be eating like a king this week as you post about eating pizza rolls and  frosted flakes.

I didn't EXACTLY do this for that sole purpose. I'm submitting some recipes for the CSF cookbook and need pics to go along with.

This is my SLAMMIN egg white fritatta ingredients



Yes, that is cheese. I swear it's 2% though...

Mango Salsa- goes good with fish

Turkey balls

Bowl-O-Berries, to be divided into as many servings as possible.

Sweet Potatoes. Baked with vanilla, cinnamon, and 2 packets of Truvia.

Finally done. All I have to do is shell my boiled eggs and bag them, then it's off to the gym.

Woop woop! October!

September was fantastical magical mystical and so far, October has been 10x better. I haven't quite gotten the hang of blogging, funny that I used to love posting about anything and everything every day of the week in my 2 former blogs.

A lot of things have gone on for me this month. First off, I chose a show date for my first figure show. My first show will be Fitness Atlantic in April of 2010 and I can't freaking wait!!! It's the perfect time too, being just after my birthday and obviously my favorite time of year for that reason. I've also been right on point with my mini-goal of becoming more involved in my goal by making it to savage Sunday Sessions every week, making my check-ins, and mingling with other "Savage Sisters". I'll tell you what, it really does make all the difference in the world. It's really hard to look to the people closest in your life for motivation when they don't have the same goals. While I wont' blame this on my lack of adherence to the road paved to my goals in the past, I can honestly say that it is a factor. What's more, is that even if you can get past the fact that the people nearest to you aren't on the same track, having NO ONE around that IS on the same track is more detrimental. For example (and I'm sure we all know someone like this) everyone I know that has successfully quit smoking has had to stop hanging around smokers. The point of this is that I'm really glad that I finally met Cathy and that I've been meeting more and more Savage Girls through Sunday Sessions. I plan to continue active participation in all things Savage Fitness in the days to come. It truly has been the missing link in my progress.

As far as my progress goes, I refuse to use a scale and haven't measured my bf%. The remarks that I'm hearing about how well I'm shaping up as the wobbly bits melt away let me know things are coming together just fine. I'd like to say that "I can tell by the way my clothes fit" but the only clothes I wear are gym clothes and scrubs. Oh, but I will say that my scrub tops are getting a little snug. "How is this good?" Well, it's in my back. I've been working my back a little extra as I can  (because the un-assisted pull up still eludes me) and now when I'm at work and go to lift somebody or do anything where my lats spread, my top pulls tighter across my back. I'm okay with that.

I'm also noticing marked strength gains. This is good, and always be true if I made a habit of noting how much weight I'm lifting. This is a habit that I welcome. I can't wait to see how I turn out at the end of the month.

So, I look forward to finishing out the month harder than I went into it so that I can blast through November with even greater force. I'll attempt to post more frequently, but I make no promises....