All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without the benefit of experience."

— Henry Miller, Author

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

New ideas!

I SOSOSOSO killed it yesterday in the gym. I did something new for my chest which was doing 11 bench press sets; pyramiding up and then dropsetting the last 5 sets. I started with 100lbs and by the last set I could BARELY finish 15 reps using just the bar. I mean I had to have my spotter pick the bar up off of my chest.. That's how bad it was. I tried to bang out some pushups after that but um.. ended up on the floor.

I've decided that I need to change things up. I have to try to make the gym exciting again! It seems that I've just kind of gotten bored with the lifting schemes that I've been using, and considering the fact that I'm "coming back" to the gym, I have to do something different than what I was doing before. Considering that I've identified this as the case, I think it would be a great idea for me to plan ahead to be able to tackle this, as it will no doubt happen in the future.

My gym boycott has no doubt taken a toll on my strength, which I don't like one bit, but to some degree, I have to accept. That's fine. I'm accepting the fact that if I want to get my strength back to or surpass where it was, I'm going to have to amp up my training. In order to do this (and to keep things interesting) I'm going to change things up in my workouts by incorporating techniques such as pyramid sets, dropsets, GVT, 21's (for muscle groups other than biceps), and thinking a little outside the box in other ways. What's left for this week? Taking it one day at a time.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

"Back on my Grind, RAWRRRR"

...was my answer when someone asked me "what are you doing up this early?"

Well, I'm getting there. Getting up at 4:30 this morning and shooting straight out of bed and into the kitchen was a major accomplishment, let me tell you. It's so funny that the saying "if you don't use it, you lose it" applies all across the board, even when it comes to physical energy. Yesterday I treated myself to some new workout gear for my new beginning and new goals... I bought a few qt outfits too, however I refused to buy anything in a larger size. I bought flowing summer skirts and boho type attire; you know, the kind that drapes and you can still buy in a smaller size than you should and look okay... The in between clothes, when you don't want to go to a bigger size, but you really should so you'll just suck it up and wear less form fitting clothes in the interim.

But that's alright, in a few weeks time, those clothes will fit like they're supposed to and I'll be back in best "ass jeans" like I was once before. :)

While I was on the other day, I was scoping around for pics of my favorite fitness ladies to set as a desktop background and screen saver. I've long been a devoted worshiper of Monica Brant and still love her to absolute death, but as her career focus has shifted and she's no longer all over the place, I need a new hero and some new pics to stare at to make me say RAWR I WANNA LIFT SOME HEAVY SHIT TODAY... He's my new fave, and current desktop background

Her physique is top notch and I just love her olive skin and exotic features. I don't know if she's mixed, but in my mind she is. She's my mulatto iron warrior hero and right now, nothing anybody says can change that.

So along with new pictures of hot chicks floating around, I've also joined the Nike+ nation... I got one of those wristband thingies... you know... those things. I'm going to start running again and to avoid injury, I'll need to monitor my distance. After my first knee sprain, I didn't run for some years and then decided to give it a go. My first run in like 2.5 years was great, I logged 4 miles and felt like I could go for more... Until the next day when that shin splint set in. I waited a couple days and set out again even though I wasn't fully healed, thus keeping up my stride by compensating with the other leg... BOOM fucked up the other leg too. It took forever to heal because I just couldn't sit my ass down.

This time I'm gonna do it right. I'm going to follow a gradual running schedule beginning with a run/walk for distance 1-2 days a week coupled and sprint and hill work 1-2 times a week as part of my cardio regimen. I'll also add some shin work on alternate days as part of my strength training. I'll still use the elliptical and stepmill and other equipment for cardio, but no treadmill. All running will be outdoors because well, it's just so much cooler. Not to mention the fact that I have a running buddy. :)

I'm still working on some mini-goals to keep me going along the way. I'll be sure to post those as they're decided upon....

Tata for now!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Accountability Anyone?

I'm trying to come up with new and inventive ways to stay accountable over the next 15 weeks. I've been taking pics of food and all that jazz, but that's just the same ol thing that everyone else does. What to do?!?!!? I've failed in the past at daily posts, I have a profile that I NEVER use which would be great if I ever did..... Perhaps I will revisit it and leave links all over the place so that I don't forget?!?!?! It's really a great tool to keep up with stats and numbers and pics and all of the measuring tools to keep me...... ACCOUNTABLE....

I think I just talked myself through that one.

Anyway, I began posting a blog a couple of weeks ago about some of the changes that have occurred over the past few months. It's been quite a while since I've posted. SO long that even I am shocked. No bueno.... Well I moved from Boston to Tampa Florida... And not a moment toooooo late? Yes that's right. I should have been down here BEFORE I went psycho killer crazy with Patron and 2am post-bar fast food runs as my number one and two victims. Now instead of enjoying the summer of perpetual Florida sunshine pool and beach-side in any one of my 8 or 9 bikinis (that absolutely no way under the sun fit me), I'll get to spend the summer sweating my ass off in t-shirts and yoga pants busting my ass just to get back to where I was 6 months ago..... THEN I can begin to measure my "progress".

Don't get me wrong, I will certainly be measuring from here on out, but I won't consider it real progress until I surpass where I've reached before. I feel like Janet Jackson. I cant' get on board with this yo-yo shit. No sir.

Aside from physically feeling like a cow, emotionally, I'm amazing. I've got a new (old) beaux by my side who is probably the single most amazing man that I've ever met in my life. "Why?" you ask? Well because he is the carnation of myself, but with a y chromosome. Yes, that's right. Another Jennifer exists in the world. I used to always say that I expect to be single for the rest of my life. This is because of how much I LOVE myself. That's right, in all of my fucked up and psychotic glory, there's no one that I'd rather spend forever with then myself.... And I found it in another person. AWWWW

Enough of that.

Onward to preparing my BB blog. Will be back later.

Monday, June 13, 2011


Can't believe it's been so long since I last posted. As expected, 2011 has brought many new twists and turns that I can only describe as both frightening and exciting. Such a deviation from my lame day to day life has elicited some drastic emotional responses and rather thoughtless behaviors, thus bringing about further dramatic response. It's almost like everything is brand new and I have to learn everything all over again.

The same holds true for my goals. Considering my injury history, I've decided not to pursue competing as my primary goal. The stress of the training and my own stubbornness have proven to be an evil combination.

-This does NOT mean that I don't want to compete or will never do so-

It will just no longer be my primary goal. Instead, I will plan for mini-goals, each one focusing on the improvement on some particular area of physical shortcomings. Mostly relating to increasing strength and endurance WITHOUT injuring myself.... I will accomplish this by creating very precise plans toward such with a "plan B" (that doesn't involve taking 6 months off from the gym to booze it up and eat like a fat hoe in the interim).... Gosh.... 6 months.... Really? Did I really just do that?

I'm ashamed and my frigging clothes don't fit. That's what I get. I knew that would be the outcome..... But now here we are, getting back on the wagon. I'm in a new place, literally and figuratively, and I've got nothing to do but move forward.

Here's to new beginnings!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


This video is the funniest thing ever. I've shown it to 3 non-fitness people instead of wasting my breath having the same conversation.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A Horrible Start.....

but I still expect a Grand Finale.

I began the year with new goals in sight and a plan to ramp up my motivation for things to come. After my second knee sprain which took place back in early November, I finished the year totally crushed and feeling a bit lost to say the least. I took some time to just chill for a while and not have to worry about the stresses of contest prep.

The beginning of the new year was a slow roll as far as getting back into the swing of things. A little gym here, a little yoga there, a little Sunday Session now and then. I can't help but think that part of this snail pace come from fear of injury. The first time I sprained my knee back in 08 left me afraid to go heavy on legs or run or do much of ANYTHING for 6 months or so, and I don't intend to have that happen again.

Well, whatdya know I hurt my knee this past Sunday. Not as bad as the first time, and a little worse than the second time. I'm 15 weeks from my intended show and while I prefer to be injured now rather than later, this time around I really wanted to extend my focus for a few weeks longer to ensure that my "road to the stage" was as smooth as possible. I can only be thankful that this didn't happen after I got back into the "zone".

So here I go again, trucking along, trying to achieve my goals and actualize my dreams; even as my body continues to betray me. I swear, I need to be learning from that asshole and stop trying to outsmart it. For those of you that talk carp when I talk about being old and "almost 30" you can SUCK IT! I AM old! Just look at what keeps happening! This mess wouldn't happen if I were 21. RAWR!

On New Years Day I got a new tattoo. I got an Ohm symbol on my left hand. I got this in that location because it is my non-dominant hand. It's meant to be a reminder that I have to stop trying to control everything and to be more conscious myself (and others) and my reactions to things. While I didn't intend for any great changes to happen overnight, it seems that I'm having a hard time getting into the habit of not trying to force things. I feel like this injury is yet again proof of that. For right now, all I can do is hope that I've learned from the past in that I need to take it one day at a time for now. I can't expect that after the break that I took from "the life" that I can just jump back in where I left off, which is frustrating!!! Nonetheless, I have to let it go. I have to let it go and begin again trying picking it back up.

Monday, November 15, 2010


I don't want to post, and do you know why? Because I'd be posting about an epic fail. I didn't make my show.... But I'm okay with this.

Everybody talks about "the journey... the journey" and I'm like suck it, I want it over... but after going through it, the process was fucking fun. Granted, I didn't make show, but I still put the fucking work in. I still rode it out. I still did what I could.

I sit here now with more knowledge than I went in with, and a new frame of mind for all goals in the future. I know that there's no limit to how hard I can bust my ass because each day, I can push the limit further and further. I KNOW that I can be on the verge of death and STILL push harder, and I want to do it. I WANT to feel like I'm gonna die. I want to know that I'm doing all I can, and I WANT to be able to do more and more each time. It sucks that I won't compete, but I mean, am I really losing? I think not.

SO FUCK IT! I didn't compete. SO FUCKING WHAT! I'll still ride on. There's always another show.