All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without the benefit of experience."

— Henry Miller, Author

Sunday, October 18, 2009

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing." – Rabbi Hillel

On what a horrible week! Granted it's only Sunday and my "week" ends tomorrow. There's still time to make it a little more decent, which I may be able to pull off, but right now I feel like my body is telling me no no no. Last Tuesday was great! It tricked me into thinking the whole week would be the same, Wednesday was not so hot, but okay. Thursday was horrible! I went to yoga and ran some errands, all the while incredibly tired. You would think I didn't sleep the night before.

I decided to take a nap before the gym and when I woke 2.5 hours later (yikes) I only felt a little worse. Meanwhile my nutrition was so off that I just wanted to eat a loaf of raw cookie dough. I know that my nutrition this week is the reason why I had such a shitty week, and it is of course my number one goal for the week coming up. I just started with some dietary changes which have proven a tad bit difficult. I have to say that I hadn't formulated my plan of attack for eating even more frequently than I already had been, which is clearly a necessity.

Here's a gross example of what steadfast determination I must have to keep it in line:

So yesterday while at work (for those that don't know, I work at a nursing home) I had found the perfect moment to run down into the basement to heat up my oatmeal and other tasty treats. I get back upstairs and take a bite when a patient was SCREAMING for me to come into the bathroom to help her (she's very anxious and has other mental health issues to say the least). I helped her get washed up making sure to pick up the gooey turd piles she left on the floor. She goes back to her room, and I go back to the Nurses station to try and scarf down as much of my food as fast as possible.

5 minutes later, I'm trying to finish my broccoli when I see the same woman headed for the bathroom. Once she gets settled the starts yelling "Lady lady I couldn't make it, I had a bowel movement in my pants." I get around the corner and there was shit everywhere. All over the toilet, her pants, the floor, the wall it was horrible. I cleaned it all up while this woman was freaking out, washed my hands, and took another mouthful of broccoli. I looked at it lovingly before I shoved it in my mouth as I remembered how some of the chunks in that woman's soupy stool very well looked like broccoli.

If I can eat and maintain my "cookies" so to speak through being knee deep in someone else's storm of kaka than I should be able to stick to my damn nutrition plan otherwise, right?

It was hard tough! At times I would stroll right past meal times because I wasn't hungry and I simply didn't think about the fact that it was time to eat. Other times I would be busy and time would fly and before I know it, that meal has been completely skipped. Then there's the matter of me being asleep before making my final meal of the day. Plus I'm eating a little more at each meal now so I can't exactly "om nom nom" in a Garfield fashion as I'm used to doing. I have to stop and chew more now.

Anyhow the point is that this week I'll definitely have to make a very concentrated effort to make sure I stick to my meals. I need to go and re-set the alarms on my watch and phone to go off at my new meal times and I'm just gonna have to make sticking that schedule my priority this week. I can't take take another horror show like last week. :(

Wish me luck.

1 comment:

  1. Don't worry Ms. Turner, you're gonna do jus' fine!! You got da determination, so all you gotta do now is follow through with the execution!! Make it happen!!