All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without the benefit of experience."

— Henry Miller, Author

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Getting Back

Alright, so I've had some time to think long and hard the past day or two, and I've got my head together. The little bit of a break that I had really threw me for a big one. I couldn't seem to figure out how I had lost my groooooveeeeee. I've been working out and eating clean the past 2 weeks since being back, but I still felt totally lost and that I didn't know what was going on. I finally figured it out: A clear goal.

Yes, I have long decided on what my new competition date will be, but after having to "change the plan" I got a little whacked. This being my first competition I was easily deterred when my original plan didn't happen as I planned. Even though I KNOW that it's okay to re-evaluate my goals and restructure my plan to get there, I didn't really believe it. I've been going through the motions half-heartedly recently claiming that I'm ready for the next step. Ready for the NEW plan. I'm flexible and capable of adaptation, blah blah blah you get the picture. After all of that, I've realized that my PROBLEM was that I hadn't REALLY committed myself to my new goal. While the IDEA of competing was still alive and kicking, I had lost my perspective of what was really required of me to reach my goal. 

How can I faithfully pursue something that I haven't committed to to begin with?

To actually make it to the stage is going to take far more than just going through the motions, but for some reason this totally fell out of my mind. With that being said, I'm here to say that I have (re) COMMITTED myself to this experience and this process and fully intend to pursue my goal of competing at Universe in Miami on June 19th 2010.

1 comment:

  1. I feel you Jen! For some reason I go through the same emotions too.
    I also had to postpone my competition and doing so made me upset with myself. I thought I had it all down...but life got in the way and it always will!
    Let's make this happen girl :)