This video is the funniest thing ever. I've shown it to 3 non-fitness people instead of wasting my breath having the same conversation.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A Horrible Start.....
but I still expect a Grand Finale.
I began the year with new goals in sight and a plan to ramp up my motivation for things to come. After my second knee sprain which took place back in early November, I finished the year totally crushed and feeling a bit lost to say the least. I took some time to just chill for a while and not have to worry about the stresses of contest prep.
The beginning of the new year was a slow roll as far as getting back into the swing of things. A little gym here, a little yoga there, a little Sunday Session now and then. I can't help but think that part of this snail pace come from fear of injury. The first time I sprained my knee back in 08 left me afraid to go heavy on legs or run or do much of ANYTHING for 6 months or so, and I don't intend to have that happen again.
Well, whatdya know I hurt my knee this past Sunday. Not as bad as the first time, and a little worse than the second time. I'm 15 weeks from my intended show and while I prefer to be injured now rather than later, this time around I really wanted to extend my focus for a few weeks longer to ensure that my "road to the stage" was as smooth as possible. I can only be thankful that this didn't happen after I got back into the "zone".
So here I go again, trucking along, trying to achieve my goals and actualize my dreams; even as my body continues to betray me. I swear, I need to be learning from that asshole and stop trying to outsmart it. For those of you that talk carp when I talk about being old and "almost 30" you can SUCK IT! I AM old! Just look at what keeps happening! This mess wouldn't happen if I were 21. RAWR!
On New Years Day I got a new tattoo. I got an Ohm symbol on my left hand. I got this in that location because it is my non-dominant hand. It's meant to be a reminder that I have to stop trying to control everything and to be more conscious myself (and others) and my reactions to things. While I didn't intend for any great changes to happen overnight, it seems that I'm having a hard time getting into the habit of not trying to force things. I feel like this injury is yet again proof of that. For right now, all I can do is hope that I've learned from the past in that I need to take it one day at a time for now. I can't expect that after the break that I took from "the life" that I can just jump back in where I left off, which is frustrating!!! Nonetheless, I have to let it go. I have to let it go and begin again trying picking it back up.
I began the year with new goals in sight and a plan to ramp up my motivation for things to come. After my second knee sprain which took place back in early November, I finished the year totally crushed and feeling a bit lost to say the least. I took some time to just chill for a while and not have to worry about the stresses of contest prep.
The beginning of the new year was a slow roll as far as getting back into the swing of things. A little gym here, a little yoga there, a little Sunday Session now and then. I can't help but think that part of this snail pace come from fear of injury. The first time I sprained my knee back in 08 left me afraid to go heavy on legs or run or do much of ANYTHING for 6 months or so, and I don't intend to have that happen again.
Well, whatdya know I hurt my knee this past Sunday. Not as bad as the first time, and a little worse than the second time. I'm 15 weeks from my intended show and while I prefer to be injured now rather than later, this time around I really wanted to extend my focus for a few weeks longer to ensure that my "road to the stage" was as smooth as possible. I can only be thankful that this didn't happen after I got back into the "zone".
So here I go again, trucking along, trying to achieve my goals and actualize my dreams; even as my body continues to betray me. I swear, I need to be learning from that asshole and stop trying to outsmart it. For those of you that talk carp when I talk about being old and "almost 30" you can SUCK IT! I AM old! Just look at what keeps happening! This mess wouldn't happen if I were 21. RAWR!
On New Years Day I got a new tattoo. I got an Ohm symbol on my left hand. I got this in that location because it is my non-dominant hand. It's meant to be a reminder that I have to stop trying to control everything and to be more conscious myself (and others) and my reactions to things. While I didn't intend for any great changes to happen overnight, it seems that I'm having a hard time getting into the habit of not trying to force things. I feel like this injury is yet again proof of that. For right now, all I can do is hope that I've learned from the past in that I need to take it one day at a time for now. I can't expect that after the break that I took from "the life" that I can just jump back in where I left off, which is frustrating!!! Nonetheless, I have to let it go. I have to let it go and begin again trying picking it back up.
Monday, November 15, 2010
RAWR
I don't want to post, and do you know why? Because I'd be posting about an epic fail. I didn't make my show.... But I'm okay with this.
Everybody talks about "the journey... the journey" and I'm like suck it, I want it over... but after going through it, the process was fucking fun. Granted, I didn't make show, but I still put the fucking work in. I still rode it out. I still did what I could.
I sit here now with more knowledge than I went in with, and a new frame of mind for all goals in the future. I know that there's no limit to how hard I can bust my ass because each day, I can push the limit further and further. I KNOW that I can be on the verge of death and STILL push harder, and I want to do it. I WANT to feel like I'm gonna die. I want to know that I'm doing all I can, and I WANT to be able to do more and more each time. It sucks that I won't compete, but I mean, am I really losing? I think not.
SO FUCK IT! I didn't compete. SO FUCKING WHAT! I'll still ride on. There's always another show.
Everybody talks about "the journey... the journey" and I'm like suck it, I want it over... but after going through it, the process was fucking fun. Granted, I didn't make show, but I still put the fucking work in. I still rode it out. I still did what I could.
I sit here now with more knowledge than I went in with, and a new frame of mind for all goals in the future. I know that there's no limit to how hard I can bust my ass because each day, I can push the limit further and further. I KNOW that I can be on the verge of death and STILL push harder, and I want to do it. I WANT to feel like I'm gonna die. I want to know that I'm doing all I can, and I WANT to be able to do more and more each time. It sucks that I won't compete, but I mean, am I really losing? I think not.
SO FUCK IT! I didn't compete. SO FUCKING WHAT! I'll still ride on. There's always another show.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
My SUPERWOMAN!!!
I've thought about posting a blog about this girl for a couple of months now and I guess put it off because I wanted to organize the words.... But every time I hear this song I think of her. And with the intro on this particular live version I will never hear this song without her in mind.
What amazes me about people is just how different we all are. In this life where you meet so many people and you're expected to form some sort of menial relationship with them all, it's often hard to wean out the good jelly beans from the bad. I've never met anyone in my life like this girl!
We met while tending bar together in a shit bar in GA, and I can't even mention some of the trouble we've gotten into together. She's been there for some of the greatest highs of my life as well as some of the deepest depressions and has always been the same reliable HONEST chick. I can always count on her to tell me the truth, and to lie to me when she KNOWS I need to be lied to. I've never known anyone in my life that has been soooooo loyal to our friendship and to me, and one could only hope to know a gal like this in all their days on Earth.
My gosh Lisa, I think back and I can't believe that I've only known you for something like 6 years. It totally feels like we shared space in the nursery as newborns!!!!
I love you so much and I'm so glad that my life has been enhanced by knowing you. It really is such a gift, and to bring this full circle to some degree, just know that I will never take you for granted.
PS I tried to post the pic where you sneak kissed me at the moose but for some reason the photo link isn't here....
What amazes me about people is just how different we all are. In this life where you meet so many people and you're expected to form some sort of menial relationship with them all, it's often hard to wean out the good jelly beans from the bad. I've never met anyone in my life like this girl!
We met while tending bar together in a shit bar in GA, and I can't even mention some of the trouble we've gotten into together. She's been there for some of the greatest highs of my life as well as some of the deepest depressions and has always been the same reliable HONEST chick. I can always count on her to tell me the truth, and to lie to me when she KNOWS I need to be lied to. I've never known anyone in my life that has been soooooo loyal to our friendship and to me, and one could only hope to know a gal like this in all their days on Earth.
My gosh Lisa, I think back and I can't believe that I've only known you for something like 6 years. It totally feels like we shared space in the nursery as newborns!!!!
I love you so much and I'm so glad that my life has been enhanced by knowing you. It really is such a gift, and to bring this full circle to some degree, just know that I will never take you for granted.
PS I tried to post the pic where you sneak kissed me at the moose but for some reason the photo link isn't here....
Monday, October 4, 2010
19 days out!!!
I was on the stepmill this morning and as I zoned out to forget about the burning in my legs, I started thinking about this journey. I thought back to my very first time on the stepmill and how I couldn't make it past 15 minutes at like level 4 and here I was doing 45 mins up to level 12. When I began this road to compete (beit a whole year ago) I don't think it ever really sunk in that I would become more fit. I wasn't aware that I would be crashing through personal barriers one day at a time and pushing myself through some of the toughest mental struggles I've faced to date (and I've had plenty). All I had in mind was being on stage in a bikini and I assumed that I would be terrified and unprepared. Competing is something that I've wanted to do for so many years, but it's always been something that I've believed was so far away from me and something that I'd likely not experience.
Well now here I am 19 days out from my very first competition. With all of the emotions that I'm feeling right now and the fear and anxiety of not making it, I know that I will. It's taken a while but I've finally gotten to the place where I believe that this is real, and I'm gonna do it because it's in me. I put on my suit and heels yesterday and for the first time ever, I was so comfortable in it I felt like I could just stroll around the house all day in it. For the first time I felt like it belonged on my body.
I look at myself in the mirror and I'm amazed at what I'm looking at, and in 19 days I will no longer have to look at pictures of other people for motivation because I'll have my OWN pictures to motivate me. Once I'm on and off that stage, watch out. All I need to do is get the "First time jitters" out of the way and then it's on like DONKEY KONG.
That stage is mine and I'm gonna frigging rock it like nobody's business.... And then I'm probably gonna cry like a baby in the arms of anyone that hugs me. lol
Well now here I am 19 days out from my very first competition. With all of the emotions that I'm feeling right now and the fear and anxiety of not making it, I know that I will. It's taken a while but I've finally gotten to the place where I believe that this is real, and I'm gonna do it because it's in me. I put on my suit and heels yesterday and for the first time ever, I was so comfortable in it I felt like I could just stroll around the house all day in it. For the first time I felt like it belonged on my body.
I look at myself in the mirror and I'm amazed at what I'm looking at, and in 19 days I will no longer have to look at pictures of other people for motivation because I'll have my OWN pictures to motivate me. Once I'm on and off that stage, watch out. All I need to do is get the "First time jitters" out of the way and then it's on like DONKEY KONG.
That stage is mine and I'm gonna frigging rock it like nobody's business.... And then I'm probably gonna cry like a baby in the arms of anyone that hugs me. lol
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